Your Guardian Angel
by Saria-Alkiniria
Summary: "I will never let you fall... Even if saving you sends me to heaven".  Song-Fic. Gokudera point of view for Tsuna.


_Song-Fic with "My Guardian Angel" (The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus). Gokudera point of view for Tsuna.  
I always thought this song fits Gokudera pretty well. 3  
Characters and series don't belong to me.  
English isn't my native language so don't pay too much attention at the mistakes! (Reviews are much appreciated!)  
_

_**When I see your smile  
Tears run down my face I can't replace**_

It was the brightest, honest and the most innocent smile I ever seen, two big chestnut circles full of hope and kindness. Whenever he looks at me and even at that baseball-idiot or Dokuro, he was doing it in a sort of loving way. He really cares for us, all of us, in a way I couldn't really explain. I don't know why he has so must faith in Rokudo Mukuro whereas this guy tried to kill him but, still, I admire him for that. Those eyes, this smile… He was the very first one to look at me like this, besides Mom. Well, now that I think of it, they have the same expression in their face, always caring and worrying.  
I hate it when he has that expression, especially when it was because of me. Each time some enemies come to deal with us, each time I fight for him and, above all, each time I wake up after collapsing he has it.  
Concern and sadness. I don't want to see it anymore, I don't want to make my boss suffering anymore. I just want to see his smile, the same smile he had when we were watching hanabi with the others.

_**And now that I'm stronger I've figured out  
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul  
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one**_

I was stupid.  
The first time I saw him, I was sure he wasn't strong enough to be the Tenth so I wanted to kill him and I fight him. I want to punish myself now for trying to hurt Juudaime, I should have been kill by my own bombs. It would have been fair. But no, he saved me. He saved the one who was trying to assassinate him. I knew, for that time, that I would devote myself to him, to that light illuminating the darkness path I was walking through in Italy.  
I met a lot of Mafia bosses there and I tried to be a good member of their famiglia but I always ended expelled from them. I didn't have any goal in my life, I didn't have true family or friends. Until now.  
Thanks to Juudaime I entered a world I didn't know and, even if it's very hard for me to trust someone other than him, I feel that I'm changing.  
The point is my view of being Tenth's right-hand-man isn't the same as before. At the beginning I was trying to do so in order to preserve the Vongola's name, seeing only Juudaime and his role of Boss.  
Now, although I hate to admit that Yamamoto helped me to be aware of it, I fight for the others too. I fight to see the hanabi with Juudaime and laugh with all of them even if they annoy me most of the time.  
I will become this type of right-hand man.

_**I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven **_

Juudaime always told me I should pay more attention to my life, that he didn't want to see me getting hurt for him. I felt warmth and happy each time I heard it because it was the proof that he cared for me. His kindness knows no limits but I couldn't obey him.  
He has become my entire world and the person I would give up my life for, it was the light and, as the storm, it was my job to be fighting in the front line to preserve it. I would do anything for him, I would protect him no matter what. No matter neither the enemies nor the consequences. I learned to not throw my life away tough but I have a goal, a dream and it was protecting the boss so if I get kill trying to do so I would be happy. I will always be there Juudaime, always.

_**It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.  
Seasons are changing  
And waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one**_

"_Nobody wants a pianist in their family!"  
"Even if you search in every town in Italy, you'll never find a family that accepts you!"  
_I was eight years old when I decided to live my own life and find a family. It was just right after I discovered that my real mother was this beautiful pianist with silver hair. Father didn't want to talk about it so I left. I was young and weak but I thought I would be able to enter the Mafia world. Day after day, month after month it was always the same answer so I walked. I walked alone, exploding those who dared to provoke me. I came close to death very often, not seeing what Shamal was meaning by _"You don't see it"._  
I had no goal. No reason to live after all.  
Some famiglia accepted me tought but I always ended leaving them. Not that I wanted to but because they find that I didn't fit their rules, that I wasn't respectful enough. I wasn't sad but angry.  
I was never "at home", I have no friends either. I was just doing what the Bosses ordered me but they was never happy with me.  
_"Boss! I made it! This is my newest attack!"  
"And? It's only now you manage to make it?"  
_And they leave.  
This life ended the day I joined the Vongola.  
I never thought of joining them, it was the biggest and the most respectful family after all but the Nono accepted me, gave me missions and a place to live.  
I know that most of people was afraid of me or didn't like me but I didn't care. The duty was the only thing that prevailed. I didn't want to disappoint the Kyuudaime, the nicest Boss I have ever met.  
Until now.

_**I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven**_

We're fighting the Simon Family now, we're fighting for our own prides. Protecting Juudaime and becoming his right hand man are my goals, becoming like G of the first Vongola family. I would do anything to reach that dream and proving that living for the sake of someone isn't a weakness at all. Shitt-P kept saying that she was strong because she only love herself and that I was just a corpse moving around. I'm not. I'm strong, I defeated her, because I have someone to protect. I survive during the battle for Vongola rings because Juudaime said that he wanted to see the fireworks with all of us again. I wanted to be strong for him. So I train.  
Yes, is maybe the only reason why I'm still living. He's my lifeline. But it's the precise thing that give me strength.

_**Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away  
Cuz I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away,  
Please tell me you'll stay, stay **_

Shitt-P wasn't totally wrong nevertheless.  
When I learned that Juudaime was dead in the future, I felt like I was dying, as if my own reason to live was gone and that it was no use to continue.  
The actual Juudaime was there, of course, but his presence and reassuring words weren't enough to fill the emptiness in me. What the future me did? Why he, I, didn't save him?  
I was a failure as a right hand man, as a guardian and as a member of the Vongola family.  
I was weak and I'm still am.

_**Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill  
And I know I'll be ok  
Though my skies are turning gray**_

So, I'll train. More, more and more. Even if I have to push myself to the point of dying.  
I'll protect you, no matter what. I can't live without you.  
Nobody will ever hurt you anymore.

_**I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven **_

You're my life, my Boss and my family.  
I'll protect you.  
No matter what.


End file.
